So.. Whats up now?
Was MSN-ing with WeiSiong was askin him about that guy did he really have a girlfriend. But still I'm positive on he having one. Why the hell people would count the days for no reasons and is 4 days..
Argh, even though it is not WS' fault I just seem to vent it on him.. Sorry dude.
But still I lose my cool again. I seriously need some ice on my head to cool me down..
Well actually I don't normally get angry with friends, whom I really call friends.. Like my classmates the ones I always hangout with.. My TCF.. My buddies in my secondary school, in maple.. Those I really treated as friends in maple.. But not all.. But still mainly I will vent my anger on are guys. Seriously guys are the one who is always getting on my nerves at times.. But there will be few cases of females being shooted by me.. Though I never really show it out.. But I seriously hated them when I hate these bitches =/

Kay back to story. I'm still pissed off, I just wish I could punch those eff-ing rough walls I have at home.. If pain can divert anger, I would gladly keep doing it. I'm really getting to be a saddist.. -.-
WS and I chatted for some time.. Guess what the hell is he thinkin.. He would probably be thinkin that I would want to be back with him again, but sadly no. I don't patch up in relationships.. Unless, a situation pops in.. But thats kinda hard to appear. But anyway, I JUST SERIOUSLY HATE HIM FOR THE WORDS HE SAID TO ME. WHY THE FUCK CAN A GUY SAID OUT TO A GIRL IN THIS MANNER, FUCKING HELL.. ARGH.

Though I deleted the sms during afternoon I was having class, I felt sicked and pissed havin them still in my phone especially the break up one..
I think I may have use the wrong words while thinking now..
I just told him that you can find a better one than me..
He simply reply and tell me he will surely find a better than me.. Though I never bother to check what the hell I reply him, but surely he did say something which agitate me even more. whats the point of saying this anymore and blah something something, when there are people willing to wait for him..
Seriously, if this is not the most irritating and haterful sentence to females, then I declare I lost. But still, what the fuck is this? After seeing 3 days.. Then become 4 days.. Trying to spite me? If it is, then I'm gladly in the trap. Its too much for me dude. Its really too much, I wish I could break down, but sadly no. Hatred has already taken over my sadness. =/

If I really did breakdown in the middle of the in my class.. Just bring me a knife and let me slit my wrist. Sorry, its a pain in the ass to be crying out in public already. Even though I did when in secondary, but times have changed I supposed. Argh.. Somehow I just felt that he is just trying to spite me.. On the other hand I think he is having 2.. As in spiting me and having a girlfriend. HEY. I KNOW I SHOULD BE MOVING ON. BUT PLEASE, I'M REALLY DAMN SICKED OF THIS SHIT. I NEED TO VENT IT OUT PLEASE. I'M MOVING ON, FROM SADNESS TO HATRED. =/ Though it should be forget -.-.. Argh, seeing him online in MSN is kinda getting on my nerves too..

2 posts in a day.. Some more both aldo kinda lengthy.. Sorry to my readers who will be viewing the previous one later.. Or before.. He pushed it to far to my imaginations.. I just wish I can have a reliable shoulder to lean for support awhile.. Not as in relationship.. But as a true friend who really support till the end.. Heck.. I wish I were in those fantasy stories, where you can be in majestic castles with hot vampires guys with you.. Argh.. =.-.. My fantasy is only for me to put off these irritating thoughts though.. They made me happy and laugh at the silly things they do in the stories..

Sigh.. If I'm Miranda Lotto in D Gray Man, I wish I could turn back time and never let these shits happen. But fantasy is still fantasy.. =.=...
Argh... I really hate this.. Sadness, anger, hatred, intention of killing somebody are just getting on me..
I HATE THAT THE FACT THAT I LOVED YOU. I HATE THAT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SUCH A JERK.
I HATE THAT THE FACT THAT WHAT I DID FOR YOU WERE ALL JUST FUCKING IN VAIN. I HATE THAT THE FACT THAT I CANNOT BRUSH YOU OFF MY HEAD WITH THOSE STUPID MEMORIES. I HATE THAT THE FACT OF YOU ONCE EXIST IN MY LIFE FOR FUCK SAKE. I HATE THAT THE FACT THIS SONG TITLE THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES CAN'T APPLY TO ME WHEN I WANTED IT, IT SERIOUSLY SUCKS, AS YOU JUST RUINED YOUR HAPPY ENDING BY YOURSELF AND YOU SAID IT ALREADY OVER AND YOU ASK ME TO FORGET IT SO EASILY? I HATE THAT THE FACT OF WHY THE FUCK AM I WRITING ALL THESE SHITS AND ALL OF IT ARE ALL ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING BASTARD THAT PRACTICALLY CONTROLLING MY LIFE WHEN WE'RE OVER ALREADY.

If there is a choice now, you, death, or just turn back the time to reconsider. I WOULD RATHER CHOOSE DEATH, SINCE IF WE'RE TURNING BACK TIME WE MAY FORGET ABOUT THE FUTURE AND IT WOULD REPEAT AGAIN. I RATHER DIE TO HAVE ALL THESE REPEATING AGAIN..
ARGH.

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU EXIST.
WHY THE HELL YOU INTRUDE MY LIFE BEFORE.
WHY THE FUCK DO I KNOW YOU.
WHY THE HELL I CHOOSE YOU.
I FUCKING HATE MYSELF NOW FOR THAT FUCKING MISTAKE I DONE.
Until I really get this fucking shit over I think it'll be next year maybe June to November..




- Sorry about the 2 lengthy posts I made today =/ -
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again.